Susie O’Brien is right to argue that our social conflicts with others, whether football players or ABC commentators, must always be respectful and perhaps might be best summed up in the helpful idiom that we should “hate the sin, but love the sinner”. (Maturity and respect lost in ABC’s Grant response, 23/5). Separating the argument from the advocate, an opponent isn’t automatically racist when you start to lose the argument. No one is above criticism and even children surely learn that discipline and its fruit of self-control will come from those wanting them to be at their best. Stan Grant was wrong for arguing that the Queen’s death should not have been mourned by the ABC. During the coronation commentary, the anti-monarchy sentiment was raging, so David Anderson’s claim that media competitors were the cause of negative reaction is nonsense. Mr Grant’s condemnation in social media might well have been avoided altogether if the lopsided ABC forum had been balanced, with all opposing views aired. The palpable frustration felt by many would not have gathered steam if there was any semblance of fairness. The ABC is indeed guilty of Mr Grant’s predicament at many levels. Alan Sexton, Parramatta. 24May2023.